Please go away............I never asked you to stay,
Deep within, I don't feel like I can love you today,
I'm running here and there, can't you see I'm busy,
To listen to your woes, it would make me dizzy.
But, quietly and like a shadow, you're there,
Don't my actions tell you I don't care?
If there is one thing I wish you could be,
That is, happy and carefree, just like me;
Just being yourself and singing your life song,
Finding your own answers when things go wrong.
Just what makes you think that I could ease...
Your aching heart, that chilling breeze?
I was once..........just like you,
A wayward soul with no help to turn to.
This I command, be gone...get hence!,
Can't you see this makes perfect sense?
And as you turned to walk away,
The pain I saw, the tears that ran astray,
I couldn't help but reflect,
On life and all it's woeful neglect.
And on my way, with a merry heart,
I earnestly pray that I did my part.
I too do pray, that along your way,
Your heart could be healed,
But not by me.......no not today.
To add to the randomness of this post, I ran across a Max Lucado quote on life on why we can’t live off of our emotions.
“Not every day can be a three cookie day“.
In today’s world, where we apply boxes to anything and everything, we do likewise with Christianity. Whenever we have a need or there is a difficulty in our life, we reach into the appropriate box and pull out the Christianized medicine that we need for that specific time. After gulping a dose or two, off we go again to live the brand of Christianity that we had been engaged in prior to our ‘sickness’. But how real is that? Just where and what is faith when the Sea of Life is more akin to the Sea of Tranquility rather than the raging south Pacific? Can I logically call myself a person of faith if I do the magician’s trick of pulling it of a hat when I need it?
These current thoughts are stimulated by the passage in Matthew 8. The setting is where the disciples were crossing the Sea of Chinnereth and the storm arose that nearly swamped the boat. Fighting by themselves and bailing water even as it looked impossible to succeed in that endeavor, it looked like all was lost. Seeing Jesus should have been enough to ask for help. Seeing Him sleeping would have incited rage amongst some of my peers. After all, He asked us to be His disciples…we didn’t really choose to….He should take better care of us…etcetera etcetera.
In hindsight, we can look back and see the disciples lack of faith and criticize them for even thinking that God, the One that created everything, would let His Son drown in a angry sea. What makes us the experts on this? Is it our modern day technology? the fact that I’m writing this on a computer rather than a piece of parchment? or that I’m writing this in the comfort of my own home rather than experiencing the storm, like the disciples? Does the fact that the disciples faced externals and my struggles maybe more of the internal make their(my) faith weaker or greater? When in the midst of a struggle…a mental storm…is my faith fore and center? Or sleeping in the back of the boat? Frankly, it feels better to have my ‘faith-box‘ in the back where I know where it is and where I can easily access it.
This may not be the faith that we have been taught but I believe it is the faith that most Christians practice. Effective or not, it’s what we have.