Monthly Archives: December 2009

The “coolness” factor

The degree of one’s “coolness” comes from the suppositions and biases of those surrounding you; whether or not these individuals know the fulness of your character withholds them not from casting judgment and is, at times, completely unrelated to the length of time which their knowledge of you spans.

How does one gain “coolness”? To some degree, we’d all like to have more than what we currently have. Why do some people seem to have a unlimited source of it while others struggle to fit in?
In a fits of random inspiration, I have pondered this one at times. Two things that I think about the most. One, how did I gain my public reputation? Now, please, I’m not saying this to say that I look for ways to needlessly burnish the record I have. Basically this — what have I done, what have I said, or how have I acted that has contributed to the way people think of me? Granted, one can lead some people on by putting up a front. But that only lasts for so long. I’m talking about a long term image, one that has lasted for, at minimum, a handful of years. And even after my rep has been established, I can still do and say things that may cause people to think of me in a different light. This is wrong. It is hypocritical and comes from my inherent sin nature. It can also be called pride. Everybody is afflicted by this problem.

Secondly, how can some people just not gain “coolness”? I can think of people in my life that have that problem. (due to the public nature of this blog, no names are given). They try and try and never really get ahead. Some also battle insecurity and a poor self-image. Some struggle instead to shed people’s past perception of them. Are these people just not given a break? If people would give them a break, would they succeed and gain some “coolness”? Or will they always go through life struggling to fit in? Honestly, I don’t know. I only pray that the latter would not be the case. And that doesn’t have to happen to them if they take the proper steps. But this is not a self-help blog; it is only a wall to peg my thoughts onto. Currently, these are the thoughts that I am processing.

The problem with some of these people, specifically those that struggle with self-esteem and accepting themself as how God designed them, is that you can help them all you want and they seemingly hold themselves. They seemingly struggle….with something. It’s usually a different issue for each one, although there are a few common problems when people struggle with poor self-esteem. To these people, I struggle to relate. This is a issue where I have rarely, if never, struggled. I get frustrated. I think, “can’t you just get it?” I offer them quick fixes. “Do this and this will take care of your struggle for you; read this and by following it’s principles, you’ll be able to find inner happiness and satisfaction.” Rarely do I get down on there level and fight with them. I point them to man’s ideas, ideas that are good and sound and truthful. But I don’t point them to the Author of Truth and His Book. God help me! I see where I have failed.

Categories: About life | 3 Comments


Waiting. That word describes me right now. After coming back from SMBI, which took up 7 weeks and was the primary reason I abandoned this page, I left Ohio to spend Christmas in Kentucky with my grandparents and other family members that I rarely see. It was a wonderful time. It was especially meaningful in light of my leaving for 2 years. Who knows? Maybe it was the last time I will see them on this earth. So, that briefly has been my past 2 1/2 months….SMBI, Kentucky and sitting around the house. Honestly, I’ve never felt this lazy. I realize the amount of self-discipline it takes to actually do things when you are not required to do them. When your at your job, there are things that need doing and so you do them. But when I’m at home, that get-up-and-go drive tends to disappear. So here I sit and wait. What for? I await the passing of the next 27 days. Then I leave on a 2 year jaunt that will stretch me further than I have been stretched……ever. In 27 days, I leave my comfortable comfort zone. In 27 days, I leave for South America. But till I leave, I spend most of my days with my motor in idle and a couple days in overdrive. Untill then, I wait.

Categories: About life | 2 Comments

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