Monthly Archives: December 2013

Love and Healing for the Heart

. . . from As the world celebrates the season of Christmas, I’m reminded that God’s love is still fresh. He did not merely love the world of 1st century Palestine, but He loves our modern world. Accept His love. Allow others to show His love to you.

Biblical Brethren Fellowship

Love and the problem of emotional pain


We all need love.

We all fear exposure

So we hide

And we do not risk disclosure

And thus, we shut out love.

That is the price

We are willing to pay

To prevent exposure

To keep from being known.


We all need to know

We all need to be known

But that takes risk.

I must tell you about me

And what is in my heart

So you can know me, but


We are afraid

Afraid if people really know us

They will not like us

So we hide.

We hide behind masks

Masks that we can change as we wish

So we do not have to show our real self.


After while we become our masks

We do not even know who our real self is

Unless and until

Unless and until someone comes along

And loves…

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Categories: About life | 1 Comment

The Ennui of Free Time

It’s Thanksgiving Break and while it has been stress free and wonderful, I find myself doing a lot of. . . nothing. That bugs me. Why do I allow myself to become sidetracked by the smallest distractions? Why do I feel like I need to play that game on my iPod Touch instead of reading for a class? Why, in the middle of researching for a presentation, do I find myself checking Facebook for the 3rd time that morning or scrolling through a sports website for the fifth time? Why instead of taking a nap do I watch YouTube?

Deep down inside of me there is a belief that every moment should count. I only have one life, only so much time. That time is precious and should be used profitably. Relaxing is fine and necessary. But doing too much relaxing crosses into the realm of laziness. Inwardly I shrink from that label. Doing nothing profitable is laziness. Deep down, as I recognize myself living in this zone of doing nothing I wonder, is there more? Am I missing something? Should I be doing something else, something different?

It’s not like I lack for things to do. I did bring a significant portion of homework home with me but the urge to complete assignments has left. I did enough that the final three weeks of school should be easier. There would be Christmas music to practice but meh, I don’t feel like doing it.

Is free time such a good idea? When not pressured, does humanity’s creative juices simply shrivel up and go dormant? Is it really that much more stimulating to write a research paper the day before it’s due instead of handing it in a week early? Egads! I did it again. My mind blanked and boom! before I knew it, swiftly I had typed in a friend’s blog site to read a recent post of hers. Point proven.

Personally, I don’t think free time is such a bad thing. Neither are options. But there needs to be a balance and even a sense of intentionality (thanks, Faith Builders culture for introducing me to that word) about how I use my free time. It is supposed to refresh and rejuvenate, not wear down and overwhelm one with the inanity of its presence. Yet it, the ennui, exists and it will be fought. There is less time available now then there was yesterday. Does it matter what I do with? You better believe it! That is why this current ennui is so dreadful.

Go away bad dream, BOO!!   


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